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His second tour of duty as an infantryman—from January 2007 until February 2008—took him to Egypt’s Sinai Peninsula. He’s already been told to expect a tour in Somalia, Iraq, or Afghanistan in 2009 or 2010, despite a partial hearing loss and a back injury that has yet to be treated.

 Carlos is one in a long line of family members who have served and continue to serve in the U.S. military, Alba says. At one point, her son and three nephews were all in Iraq. The tradition was welded fast when her 22-year-old brother, Julio Antonio Iglesias Rosario III, a U.S. Marine, was killed in Vietnam. A photograph of him in dress blues, including cape, motivated all of her nephews to join the military. “He was a hero for my nephews,” she says.

And she, in a sense, has become a family heroine for them, too. “People tell me I’m strong, that I’m like my mother” Alba says. “She had to deal with the loss of her son and would always tell me, ‘We have to be there for [our soldiers]; we have to support them, no matter what.’ ”

“People tell me I’m strong, that I’m like my mother. She had to deal with the loss of her son and would always tell me, ‘We have to be there for [our soldiers]; we have to support them, no matter what.’ ” —Alba Iglesias Rosario

“I’m like the rock for everybody,” says Alba, who also supports three nephews who recently returned from Iraq: one whose mother, her sister, has Alzheimer’s; another who had to leave the military because of unremitting nightmares; and a third who was stung by divorce upon his return.

“I’m not saying I’m not sensitive; I am. I cry; it’s healthy,” she says. “I am the support, but I look for support too, because I need it.” A lot.

Besides working part-time in a Puerto Rico legislator’s office and serving as a city council member in her town, she gets support from and volunteers with the National Guard’s Family Readiness Program, which helps families through various transitions when their loved ones are sent to war and when they return. She recently called more than 342 wives and invited them to a free Family Readiness seminar. Only about 35 wives showed up, she says, but many grandparents who are caring for their grandchildren attended.

Alba Iglesias, son Carlos Ferrer, and granddaughter Pebbles Ferrer.

Alba says grandparents have to set boundaries with their children when caregiving becomes part of the mix. “Not all of [the returning vets] are conscious of what this takes,” she says of the hard work. “I told [my son] it was too much for me. I’ll cook, clean, and wash the clothes, but he has to take care of the kids.”